The Great Rick-scape
by HeinzDoofenshmirtz
Summary: Morty don tries to break Rick out of prison, broh. Jerry's been livin it up, broh. Contains Mortica (MortyxJessica). Rated T for language and because...well, it's Rick and Morty.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first Rick and Morty fanfic, so excuse any mistakes.**

 **Disclaimer: The following views, beliefs and language contained in this fanfic do not, in any way, represent the views, beliefs and language expressed by me or any of my affiliates. Also, I don't own Rick and Morty.**

Chapter 1

As Morty Smith, of dimension C-137, walked down the hallway of his school, he passed by everyone as if they weren't there. He wore a depressed look that had been etched into his facial features since the day he came back to his home planet. It had been almost a week since the day his grandpa Rick had left to "get ice cream" and didn't come back, and he'd been taking it harder than most people in his family.

Throughout the day, Morty hadn't been able to focus on anything, not even in math class, when Mr. Goldenfold started shouting at alien tourists that math was more important than their vacation photos. No matter what was going on, his mind was always focused on Rick and how he might never see him again. And even with all the alien visitors coming and going on a daily basis, it seemed that without Rick, Morty's life got boring again.

As Morty was sitting in the cafeteria, eating the same slop that he ate every day, the large TV screen at the front of the room came to life and was displaying the news.

" _Well, today is a great day for the people of the Galactic Federation._ " said the male Gromflomite news anchor. " _Today, it was announced that the Federation's number one fugitive, Rick Sanchez, is now in custody. Sanchez was captured by authorities at the Plimplom Tavern about a week ago. Contrary to his reputation and long list of crimes against the Federation, he went quietly and without a fight. So, I think it's safe to say that the galaxy can rest easy with the knowledge that it's number one fugitive is now behind bars. Next story: Squirbbles, what they are and how you can find them._ "

At that point, Morty wasn't listening anymore, he was so zoned out. It was no secret that Rick had turned himself in, but now that he was able to confirm it, it felt like the last bit of hope he had for seeing Rick again had been shattered. So, as the news anchor droned on about some story about Squirbbles which nobody cared about, Morty just sat there, brooding. Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Jessica, the girl whose picture he often masturbated to, sitting next to him.

"Hey Morty, are you alright?" asked Jessica, who looked concerned.

"I-I'm fine, J-Jessica." said Morty, in an almost monotone voice.

"Well, I heard what the alien bug guy said about your grandpa, and...I know he meant a lot to you...so, I didn't know if you needed someone to talk to." she said.

Morty sighed and said "Jessica, Rick wasn't just my grandpa, he was my best friend. Be-Be-Before he started taking me on crazy sci-fi adventures, I-I didn't have any friends. Even though he could be kind of a dick, he was always there to make my life interesting. I-Instead of simply helping me with my homework, he would help me incept my math teacher into giving me an A. Instead of making a model of the solar system for the science fair, he would make me a tiny robot that passes butter. I-Instead of going to Florida or the Bahamas for a vacation, he-he-he would take the whole family on a vacation to a dimension where hamsters live inside people's butts." Morty grew more and more depressed as he continued thinking about it. "And now that he's gone, I don't know how I'll ever get that interesting spark back in my life. I-I just don't know what to do."

"Well, what do you think Rick would want you to do?" asked Jessica.

"Knowing Rick, he'd probably want me to break him out." said Morty. Then, the more Morty began to think about it, the more it began to make sense. Suddenly, Morty had a realization. "Wait! Maybe he does!"

"What?" said Jessica, not fully understanding.

"Maybe he does want me to break him out!" said Morty. "I mean, Rick's always preparing for every possible scenario, right? So, maybe, he prepared for a time when he might get captured by the Federation, a-a-and left me with a way to break him out! I mean, if I were Rick, that's probably what I'd do." Morty grabbed Jessica by the hand and started running towards the front of the school.

"Wait, where are we going?" asked Jessica.

"To my garage, Rick probably left something in there." said Morty.

"But...why are you bringing me?"

"I-I don't know. Maybe because the author wants me to?"

Twenty percent accurate, as usual, Morty.

Ahem, anyway...

As Morty and Jessica ran towards the doors of the school they passed Principal Vagina.

"What? Hey, hey! Where do you two think you're going?" said the principal.

As they reached the front doors, Morty turned around and shouted "Nothing you do matters, the universe doesn't exist on purpose, everyone's going to die!" and they exited the school.

the principal just stood there, staring for a moment, before saying "If that were true..." Then, he pulled out his cell phone and started calling. "Um, yes, I'd like to order 15 pounds of feathers, some hot tar, a removable beak, and a pair of white fuzzy boots that make me feel pretty. Don't ask why, just deliver."

Meanwhile, at the Smith house, Summer was sitting on the couch, flipping through different channels.

"Ugh, this is just great. TV from every dimension, and there's still nothing on." said Summer.

"Hi, I'm Ants-in-my-Eyes Johnson!"

"This shit is delicious!"

"Get outta my personal space!"

"It's Saturday Night Liiiiiive! Starring: A piece of toast!"

"Gobba-gap, bogga-frap gop. Goppa Gop Gop!"

"I'm the Eyehole...Man!"

Then, Summer flipped to a channel that showed her, Rick and Morty when they met Unity.

"What the f***?" said Summer, not believing it.

Just then, Morty and Jessica entered the living room.

"Summer, we need to go to the garage, I think Rick might've left us a way to-" Morty stopped when he noticed what was on TV. "What the f***?"

"I know, right?" said Summer, equally confused.

"My favorite part's the title sequence." said Jessica.

 ***Queue title sequence***

 **So, what'd you think of the first chapter/cold open? Again, this is my first Rick and Morty fanfic, so don't judge. More chapters coming soon!**

 **Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So far I've gotten good comments for this story! So, here's the second chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: Rick and Morty belongs to Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland, not me.**

Chapter 2

From the Galactic Federation's advertising division, ads are sent out to all the different planets under the Federation in order to increase its popularity. On underdeveloped worlds in regions such as the Glamponian system, advertisements are simpler and easier for them to understand. And this is exactly what the advertisements created by Jerry Smith were like, simple and easy to understand.

So, it should come as no surprise that while Jerry's ads weren't popular among other humans, they were a huge marketing success on these underdeveloped worlds. As Jerry's ads became more and more popular among the people who were famous for inventing porn before the wheel, the Federation saw it fit to promote Jerry to a higher position.

And this was the reason that Jerry came home happier than he'd been in a long time. However, the same couldn't be said for his wife, Beth.

Ever since they had gotten back to earth, Beth had been drinking as much wine as she could in hopes that she could forget that she ever knew her father. After he left her again, it was like her whole world had fallen apart. Now she spent most days drunk and moping about how miserable she was. And, as much as Jerry loved the position he was in because of the new galactic government, he also felt sorry for his wife.

Jerry went into the master bedroom, where Beth was lying on the bed, more sad than drunk, and empty wine bottles littered the floor.

"Honey…I got a promotion today." said Jerry, trying to cheer Beth up.

"Well, at least your life isn't a f***ing mess." said Beth.

Jerry sighed and sat down on the bed. "Look, I know you're sad about your father leaving again, but this new government could be a good thing for us."

"Jerry, just because you're thriving doesn't mean it's a good thing for everyone. I mean, it's a government run by aliens. For all we know, it could be killing children to pay for the cost of living!"

"Well, I'll have you know that I think the message that they're advertising to the galaxy is a peaceful one." said Jerry, having worked on most of their advertisements.

"Well, of course they want people to think that, dumbass! They're probably just saying that so they can get more people to join! Why do you think my father doesn't get along with them?"

"Because he's a self-centered bastard who doesn't care about anyone!" Jerry said, raising his voice.

"Oh, HE'S a self-centered bastard? All you care about is you and your stupid job, you insensitive…person! I'm sorry; I'm too drunk to think of a good comeback."

"Well, we'll just see how far an "insensitive person" makes it in this new society, which, by the way, I think is the best!"

With that Jerry walked out of the room, leaving Beth with her crippling guilt and another empty bottle of wine.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Morty, Jessica and Summer were in the garage trying to look for any clues Rick might've left. Unfortunately, the Federation had cleaned out the garage, so it was practically empty.

"I don't understand." said Jessica "How are we going to find anything if there's nothing to find?"

Morty simply walked over to a side of the garage and lifted up a metal hatch in the ground.

"This used to be Rick's secret lair, where he kept his most secret science stuff." said Morty, climbing down the ladder, gesturing for the two girls to follow him. "But we moved everything down here before the Federation came and cleaned the garage out."

"Wow…" breathed Jessica. Then, suddenly, she screamed as she uncovered a tarp and saw five rotting corpses that looked like Ricks of all ages.

"It's okay! It's okay!" said Morty, trying to calm her down. "Those are just younger clones of Rick. A-After he realized that the teenage mind is its own worst enemy, he killed all his other clones."

"That's f***ing messed up." said Jessica.

"Yeah, yeah it is."

"Guys! I think I found something!" said Summer. The two of them rushed over to where she was and saw that she was holding a small mechanical-looking orb. It had a non-brand-name sticky note on it that read "In case of situations without Rick."

"What do you think it does?" asked Jessica.

"L-Let's hope it doesn't spawn a creature that'll try to eat us." said Morty.

They pressed the small button on the orb. Suddenly, it flew out of Summer's hand and hovered in mid-air before displaying a holographic image beneath it. It turned out to be a 3D hologram of Rick.

"Hey there Morty, Summer and…I-I'm sorry, I don't *Urrp* know your name." said Hologram Rick.

"Rick!" shouted Morty. "Rick, where are you? We-we're trying to rescue you, but we don't know where you are!"

"I don't know, Morty." said Hologram Rick. "And I'm not the real Rick. I'm just a holographic visualization of Rick connected to an interactive *Urrp* AI that's programmed to act like Rick in case of emergencies where Rick isn't present. I-I'm like one of those video game tutorial guys, Morty. You know how they just stand there and give you advice, but they can't *Urrp* do anything that's actually useful? Yeah, I'm like that, Morty."

So, after a long explanation, Hologram Rick replied "Oh f***! The Galactic Federation?! Those sons of bitches messed with the wrong Rick, Morty! Alright, so since my portal gun was destroyed during the attack on Planet Squanch, you're gonna have to build another one."

"But Rick, we-we don't know how to build a portal gun!" said Morty.

"Will you just calm down, Morty! I always keep an extra set of blueprints in the car. Just find them and I'll help you build it."

"But Grandpa Rick," said Summer "We left the car on Planet Squanch. Those alien bug guys probably took it."

"Are you f***ing kidding me?!" shouted Hologram Rick "They took the car too?! I just tuned it two weeks ago!" After Hologram Rick calmed down, he said "Alright, don't worry, there's a way we can find the car. Morty, go to that machine over there and press the "find car" button."

Morty pressed the button and a map of planets suddenly appeared. It zoomed in on one of them and formed a red dot which indicated the car was there.

"Quaniferous 3?" said Hologram Rick "The junkyard?! Talk about insult to injury."

"Well, how are we gonna get there?" asked Summer.

"Summer, go over to the other machine and *Urrp* enter the coordinates into it and press the green button."

As soon as she pressed the button, a portal opened up and filled the room with its green glow.

"Now all we have to do is step through the portal." said Hologram Rick.

"Couldn't we just use this machine to get you back home?" asked Jessica.

"Jessica, this is a one-way portal." said Hologram Rick "It'll close as soon as we're all through. Look, I don't have time for all these questions, just step through. Don't worry; the coordinates are for a desolate part of the planet. There shouldn't be a soul in sight."

So, one by one, they all went through the portal. But what they saw on the other side was definitely not a desolate junkyard. As the portal closed behind them, they saw that they had emerged into an area of the junkyard that was crowded with Gromflomites!

"Intruders!" shouted one of the Gromflomites. Everyone turned to them and raised their weapons.

As Morty, Jessica and Summer looked on in fear, Hologram Rick simply said "Huh. Well, sometimes my system makes mistakes, Morty. F*** me, am I right?"

 **And that's the waaaaay the news goes!**

 **What'd you think of the second chapter? Review to let me know.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry that this took so long, but I've been working my squanch off lately.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Rick and Morty.**

Chapter 3

As the car flew away from Quaniferous 3, everybody sighed a breath of relief.

"Wow...that was really intense!" said Jessica.

"Yeah, for a second, I thought we wouldn't make it out of there." said Morty.

"You gotta admit, we all did some pretty cool stuff back there." said Summer.

Everyone nodded in agreement as Morty said "Yeah, there's no way we'll ever forget all that."

"Yeah, well don't get too excited kids." said Hologram Rick. "I'm pretty sure that the author's gonna cut out that whole scene in an effort to save creative energy."

"What?!" said Morty "But it was so awesome!"

"Well, the author probably won't want to spend a lot of time describing everything that happened, so the story's most likely gonna cut to this scene where we're all looking back on it so that the author can focus more on the actual storyline." said Hologram Rick.

"Aw man, I really liked that scene." said Morty.

"Yeah, me too. But since when does reality give a shit about us?" said Hologram Rick. "Let's just get the blueprints. They're in the glove compartment."

Jessica opened the glove compartment, but there was nothing in there except some empty beer cans.

"Crap!" shouted Hologram Rick. "How could I think they wouldn't search the car before taking it to the junkyard! Now we have to go all the way to their stupid storage facility and hope that they haven't figured out that they have blueprints for a portal gun."

As the car turned and headed towards the storage facility, Hologram Rick said "That turn was a little *Urrp* sharp, Morty."

"Shut up, I-I'm doing the best I can!"

Meanwhile, Jerry was in a video conference with the leaders of several underdeveloped planets.

"...And so, that is why I think you should buy our advertisements. It'll be beneficial to both of us in every way." Jerry finished with a smile.

"It does sound very promising..." said one of the alien leaders. "...Very well, Mr. Smith, you've convinced us. It will be a pleasure advertising you on our worlds."

"The pleasure's all mine, Mr. Slorpydorp."

As the video conference ended, Jerry said to his superior "Well, we can add the Drilagian system to the list."

"That was excellent, Mr. Smith." said Jerry's boss. "I can't tell you how much we appreciate having you on our staff. Thanks to you and your advertisements, we've been able to reach out to planets that we've never reached before."

"I'm just doing my job." said Jerry, smugly.

"Spoken like a true salesman." said his boss. "Tell me, have you ever eaten in the executive's dining hall?"

Jerry lit up as he said "I...didn't know there was an executive's dining hall."

"Oh, it's the same food that they serve in the cafeteria, only fresh."

At the Galactic Federation's storage facility, when they finally arrived, there didn't seem to be anyone there. Even as they searched the rows of storage, not a single guard was present.

"Where is everybody?" asked Jessica.

"This is a storage facility." said Hologram Rick. "Nobody guards random shit that's been confiscated. All anyone cares about is the important stuff, which goes to research and development."

"How do we even know what we're looking for, anyway?" asked Morty.

"Isn't it obvious, Morty? We're looking for a box with my name on it. I thought you'd have the common sense to know that."

A while later, they decided to split up, and Morty and Jessica searched together.

"Man, how much of this stuff do they even need?" said Morty. After a moment, he saw that Jessica was staring off somewhere else.

"Um, Jessica?"

"Oh! Sorry, Morty." Said Jessica, coming out of her trance. "I just...I still can't believe I'm out here. I mean, I'm on a whole different planet."

"Yeah, the feeling takes some getting used to." said Morty, remembering the first time Rick took him on an adventure.

"There's so many places and things that I never even knew existed. I never thought I'd get the chance to do what you and Rick do."

"Pretty crazy, huh?"

As Jessica looked out the window at the clusters of stars, some of which had planets orbiting them, she couldn't help but be amazed.

"It's beautiful..." she breathed.

Morty stood right beside her. Except he wasn't looking at the stars, he was looking at her. Which, in his opinion, was a much better view. As he stared he began to wonder if he should tell her now.

Morty cleared his throat and said "J-Jessica? Can I tell you something?"

Jessica turned to him and said "What's that, Morty?"

"...For the longest time, I-I've always thought you were-"

"No, I mean, what's that? In that box over there?"

Morty turned and saw one of the boxes moving and making weird noises. He carefully walked over to it and pulled it off the shelf. He hesitated for a moment before suddenly opening the box.

Inside, there was a little yellow alien with three eyes and seven limbs and it was humping another alien just like it.

When they saw it, Morty and Jessica both jumped back with shock and disgust.

"Oh! Oh! Oh my god! That's so disgusting!" said Morty, frantically moving away from the box. He kept backing away until he accidentally backed into a shelf and a box fell on top of his head.

"Ow!" said Morty, rubbing his head. Then, he saw that the label on the box said "R. Sanchez".

"Wait! Jessica, we found it!" said Morty. "Rick! Summer! We found it!"

Surprisingly, Rick and Summer were able to hear Morty and they came rushing over.

"Alright! Great work, Morty!" said Hologram Rick. "Are the blueprints in there?"

Morty looked inside the box and pulled out a blue piece of paper with a drawing of a portal gun on it.

"Alright! We did it, motherf*****!" shouted Hologram Rick. "Let's get outta here!"

Suddenly, they found themselves staring down the barrels of several laser weapons. The Gromflomites had tracked them from Quaniferous 3!

"Hands in the air!" said one of the Gromflomites.

They all raised their hands in surrender. Just then, Morty saw Rick's laser pistol in the box, and he got an idea. Morty quickly grabbed the laser pistol and fired it at the window. The window broke and began to suck everything out into space. As the Gromflomites disappeared into the blackness of space, Morty, Jessica, Summer and Hologram Rick grabbed onto the bolted down shelves. After the Gromflomites had been sucked out, the emergency air lock seal covered the window.

"Morty! That was amazing!" said Jessica, hugging Morty.

Morty was too shocked by the fact that Jessica was hugging him to say anything.

"You guys can make out later." said Hologram Rick. "Now hurry, let's get back to the car before any more of them show up!"

With the blueprints in hand, they ran to the car. They were now one step closer to breaking Rick out.

 **So, what did you think of this chapter? Again, sorry for being gone for so long. I may not update for a while, depending on how everything in my life plays out. Worst case scenario: Everything hits the squanch. Hopefully I'll be able to update soon, but I don't know yet.**

 **Please R &R!**


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